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Miss you Dad

Troyroy
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Hi Everyone, 

 

Where to start from!! Only thing that is really hard to accept is,that my dad is no longer with me. It will be 7 years of his absence in my life . The month of November is pretty hard for me to survive to normal.

 

30 November, 2013 was those winters , when clock stuck to 2.30 pm and a call that I recieved was to come soon to hospital. Subconsciously I was aware this call wasn't a positive one, but emotional part of me wasn't ready to accept that I might loose him. Though subconsciously It was right and it happened. I saw him last, taking his last breath, My dad !! He was suffering from Brain tumor that too cancerous and of High grade Glioblastama 4. He left us....to some other life ...but its still hard for me to cope up with it. 

 

I really don't know how to handle my heart crying inside .... I get highly stressed, troubled and aloof of everything that used to make me happy once. 

 

I just want him to be with me..but how???

 

 

  • Offline

    Hello. I'm new to the forum but I too know of what pain you are feeling. I can't give you any advice but all I can say is you're not alone. I lost my father August this year. He was battling 2 types of cancer and in the end due to him not being able to eat or drink his body gave up. Its one of them shock factors isn't it? It's like you know they are in pain and you know the end is soon but you still see them as indestructible. As if they will stay forever. The type of pain is a pain you can never describe. Your mind and heart aches for them back but you know they are no longer in pain and I would wonder does that make me selfish. Am I selfish for wanting him to stay longer even though I can see him suffering.

     

    I don't know you or your father but I truly believe he wouldn't want to see you hurting and in so much pain. I give advice very blindly as I myself am in the same boat as you. The pain just won't go away. But if you speak with people that know the feeling then it may get easier cope with? That's what I'm hoping for anyway. I hope you're doing OK

  • Offline in reply to Gensa89

    Dear Gensa, 

    Thank you for the reply.!! I m still trying to cope but the void that has been created cannot be filled. I know he was in much pain and wherever he is right now is in much better place. 

    I am still trying to convince myself to feel strong but at the end of day I really give up. His loss has impacted a lot to me. I cannot even share my feelings to anyone. I m just pouring out here vecause i feel like someone can help me to overcome my grief. 

    I miss calling the word DAD, i miss his voice. I miss his presence and in return calling me out as paddy. I so wanted to share my life him , travel with him, talk with him. And see I have nothing to say. 

    I dont know how you are coping up with your loss. I can imagine what pain you are going through. All i could say sorry to you. Please be strong . I m not strong person but trying to. 

     

    Troy

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

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