My grandmother passed away of cancer three months ago. We did not know she was dying until a few days before her death. After her diagnosis of cancer, things moved very fast and we said goodbye three months after her diagnosis, despite her treatment appearing to have improved her condition. I'm 18 years old and this is the first death I have ever really had to deal with. Me and my siblings were close to our grandmother and would see her every week sometimes more than once a week. I'm finding it very hard to cope. I don't know if it was the speed at which we lost her, or if this complete disbelief is a normal part of grief but I find it very difficult to fully comprehend that she is gone forever and find myself thinking awful thoughts about people I see on the streets thinking why couldn't it just have been one of them. I feel as though people expect me to be fine now and have moved on but it's all I think about every single night and have trouble sleeping. Any advice on how to come to terms/ cope a bit better would be great, thank you.
