My dad passed away on 17 November 2019.  He was 86 a big strong ex-docker and friend of The Duke of Ediburgh.  During his life he suffered 3 duodenal ulcers caused by helicobactor pylori for which he had two operations and the last time was treated with medication.  In the summer of 2019 he developed a gastric tumout probably bought on by the medication for his ulcer.  By October 2019 he was formally diagnosed and was becoming progressively poorly, unable to eat and eventually by the beginning of November 2019 he was bed ridden.  We looked after him and tended to him until the nigh tof 16 November my mum said that he had been thrashing about in the night.  My daughter and I have worked in cancer services for 20 years and we knew that he had terminal agitation and on the morning of 17 November I called the Mcmillan nurse.  She came at 2pm and said she would prescribe a sedative for him to sleep better, she spoke o him and asked if he would like to go to the hospice and he said no and would he want to be ressucitated and he said no.  I said to her that although I have always been in curative cancer services I knew that this was the end but she said no he had a couple of days yet.  My daugher stayed with them and at just before 7pm I cam home to eat and then had a call from my mum to say he;s going.  I ran to their house and on arrival he was lying across the bed in my daughters arms.  They told me that he had been just ;ying there when suddenly he threw off the bedclothes and when my mum said what are you doing he said GOING TO THE LAV.  My daughter tried to help him to the comode but as she lifted him he suddenly just went limp in her arms.  He was 6ft 2in and 13 stone and was now a dead weight.  That was when they called me.  We got him onto the bed and made him comfortable.  He laid in my daughters arms with mum me and his sister all there holding him, telling how much we loved him and he was responding, until suddenly he was unresponsive and taking very shallow breaths until he took his last breath at 7.15pm.  I just don't understand what made him have that last collapse, what happened when he went limp in my daughters arms, I am haunted by that, I need to know what might have caused it so that I can finally have some sort of closure.