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I just want my mum

Pickyonion
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Hello All

I've been lurking for a while now but have never posted. My mum passed away on the 11th August of lung cancer and I am on this roller-coaster of emotions.

I feel so guilty that I didn't do more to make the doctors listen or pushed them to speed things up.. Mum always came to me as I was the fixer, and I couldn't fix this and I don't feel I tried hard enough..

I don't think I really realised how serious it was as we were Consantly told it was treatable and I really believed it would be.

I should have pushed harder for them to diagnose and treat her (such a massive delay - but that's another story).

Im just consumed with heartbreak and guilt and I just want her back. I'd do anything to have her back . 

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    Dear Pickyonion

     

    I am writing this as a Mum.  I am really sorry for your loss.  Losing a Mum is devastating.  You should not blame yourself - your Mum would not want you to.  Always know that your Mum loved you unconditionally and the last thing she would want would be for you to suffer with any type of guilt.  She will be looking after you now and it would break her heart that you are suffering so much.   I lost my Mum 28 years ago, without warning.  I was on holiday at the time and could not get a flight back into England for 7 days.  I went through what you are going through - feeling guilty and telling myself that if I had not gone on holiday this would not have happened.  I now have some peace although it does take time.

     

    Look after yourself, in time you will only remember the beautifu memories.

     

    I have just lost my husband who was my best friend for 54 years and I know where you are coming from with regards to delay in diagnosis and further delays with treatment but I did try to speed things up but to no avail it seems at the time that no one cares.

    xxxx

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    My Mum is dying and doesn't have to long even though we have some treatment to prolong life. I wanted to send you love and light and hope to get through what you're going through. I know the hardest is yet to come for me but we have each other on this wonderful chat group. If you ever want to talk please reach out xxx

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