A very sad day Victoria. Putting his ashes to rest is an important step. Wishing you and your children the very best. xx Harry

Hi Harry2

Thank you for your message x

Victoria

Hello, just been reading your post, I lost my husband June 2020, every day is a challenge. I hate feeling so scared all the time. Like you I have not sorted any clothes yet, can not do it yet. It is so difficult to ge5 through each day, I really do my best, but not being able to meet up with friends or meet and talk to people who are in this same situation. I see you have two children, they must keep in busy, our children are all grown up, but very helpful. I just hate this horrid feeling that is inside me. I do find this forum helpful, knowing others understand what we are all experiencing. Look after yourself. 

Hi I'm sorry for you loss  I lost my wife to breast cancer on 22/12/2020 she was 39  and I'm at rock bottom I've lost my sole mate mother of my children  lover  my meaning of my live ! I hope your  ok  you said your one year on  i'm still struggling doesn't give me much hope but I will carry on for my wife and kids x

It's nice to hear you are being able to sort personal things. I haven't been able to do that yet. Can not even go into his wallet. It's just been 6 months and still feeling very raw. it's tough times with the pandemic, I would love to talk to others in the same situation, but can't. That is the hardest thing. I am doing my best to carry on, but life is so different it's unbelievable. Thank you for your reply and look after yourself. 

I'm the same as you I can't do anything with my wife stuff  but it's only been a few weeks  I really don't ever think are be able to sort her stuff  even silly things like sorting out her underwear will break me  as I've seen her I'm them i million times  what I'd give to see her one more time  and to tell me she is ok 

I can imagine how you are feeling, sorting out clothes and underwear is awful, do it when you feel a little stronger. Nobody knows how difficult grief is until it happens to you. With what's going on with the pandemic we can not speak to others in the same situation, which is really what would help so much, instead we suffering in silence. I miss my husband and best friend so much. I know we are not the only ones, but I really feel forgotten, and we have to get through this without any help. Please try and stay strong, I am sure your wife is watching over you.

I'm really struggling  I can't lie any more this is the worst thing ever to happen to me my wife did not deserve to die she never wanted to leave us all behind  but it's happened  and I'm alone  I hate my new life  can't stand it I'm sorry for the rant   But I'm so broken  miss everything about her 

I did start seeing a therapist but this was back in early March just before first lock down .  Such a shame as it took a lot of courage to do this and only went twice. I now enjoy my wine, chocolate and watch a series sitting on my bed .  This will happen it just takes time you have to do this to be kind to yourself.  I love my dog so much she gives me lots of love .  I miss my husband so much he was just an amazing husband and dad.  I try not to think too much about what has happened as I know this could be a dark black hole and I know he wouldn’t want me to do that .  He would want me to try and enjoy being alive hard to do I know but this is what gets me through my day. I do wonder if one day I would just break down with realisation but I don’t want this for me and my children’s sake . Keep safe

Victoria x