I'm so sorry for your loss Maryjane but I'm really glad that you were able to stay the night with your momma before she passed.

I know there's nothing I can say that will take away the pain but I hope it helps to know that our community are here for you and will support you on this journey. 

Sending big virtual hugs your way Maryjane.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

I, also, was the victim of a GP who had no idea what they were doing.  Eight weeks ago my husband went to the doctors with pains in his stomach which the GP advised was constipation.  I knew in the back of my mind that this was total rubbish.  Two weeks later he then lost a stone in weight, again he went to the GP who took blood samples and then reported that the results were find, nothing to worry about, no health issues.   I telephoned the doctor and insisted on a CT scan the result of which showed a very rare cancer called neuroedocrine.  My husband died yesterday.  My heart is broken into a million pieces and I am so angry that this doctor is even allowed to practice.  This is my second night alone and the tears will not stop.  I do not know how you are supposed to survive without the one you love.  I hope we can find strength to carry on. 

Sending you my love xxx

Hi Altea

I dont know where we get the strength but it comes. I lost my husband 10wks ago today. Still very raw. Tears daily although not for such long lengths of time. But they just come from merely having a one second thought. It passes I continue with the day till the next one. 

I take everything as it comes. 

I to was angry at the doctors for not being very good at their job. I wrote to them around a month later once I had calmed my anger. Theres no point writing an angry letter it has to be factual. 

I did suggest they shut the surgery or at least take training even sending links so they could move forward in medicine instead of staying in the past.

I will say the pain has eased even if slightly. I dont so much feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest but it still aches every day.

I know it will get easier one day but for now i just take each day as it comes lottle choice really.

I will say my tolerence for outsiders is much less now. I try to remain at peace with myself and not let the anger take over. Not always easy

Dear Dalia

Thank you so much for your kind words - they mean everything to me.  I find it difficult when I go for a walk with my dog and I see couples holding hands.  If tears could bring our husbands back they would be with us now.  My tearless moments last for about two minutes before I start all over again.  I am hurting so much for my son who is broken and I feel helpless because I cannot make it better.

You take care and enjoy your memories

Luv

xx

Hi Atlea

All i can say is we are broken and it will never be the same but a glimmer of hope in that things will improve and offer some normality is all we have. 

Your son will one day find some peace as will you but at this moment in time its devastation beyong anything. For your son hes lost the man he looks up to probably went to for help made good memories that can no longer be built on. In time hopefully he will remember what they had and he will find joy in those memories. The same for you really. Only right now it feels like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and no longer beats. 

Over time you begin to feel the dull thud slowly beating and you begin to see hope and your good memories return even if for a brief moment in time. But it shows hope is still on your side. Its not easy its not quick you will smile one minuite then tears the next. Its like we have bipolar in grief. I am 10wks but sometimes its like yesterday like groundhog day.  So i just take it on the chin and accept each day i find it better if occupied but sometimes get irratated by that so I stop and sit again. I just do what the mood dictates