Hi there and welcome ...

Well your not alone... I bet many families take their mum / wife etc for granted till it's too late and you can't take that time back or change things ... many have regrets ... about lots of things .. everyone has to find their own way to live with it ...

On a positive side if anyone reads this and is doing the same... just maybe you'll help someone else to change and appreciate those we love , while we have them ... so in writting this, you just may change someone ...   

My thoughts on life sinse my cancer, is to make the most of every day ... take nothing and no one for granted ... because we can loose any one at any time ... no one is promised tomorrow... so if you see someone doing what you did .. have a word in their ear ... tell them your story ... make a difference ... then I'm sure she'll look down and smile ... Chrissie.....

I haven't experienced this but I know from a woman's perspective that we always nag for our partner to do things about the house but in reality we like to do it ourselves. Don't feel guilty - you were both a team and I am sure you helped her in a lot of other ways. Doing jobs around the house doesn't compare to the love and support I am sure you shown her. 

Hi Mal

So sorry for your loss. 
It is evident how much your wife meant to you xxx 

Those things you mention...speaking as a woman (who often has the same battles with my man)....those things are trivial. They hold no significance. They are experiences encountered by many, many ladies around the world xxx 

Millions of wifes and girlfriends will be familiar with this and will say similar things daily. Me included, for eg: "oi. It wouldn't hurt you to hoover up now and again" and "now you've got some time off work you can sort X out". 
 

This dynamic exists daily in many lives. Forget it. Normal relationship stuff. Absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. There are millions of men right now that could say - yeah I could probably help her out around the house more but I don't :) just normal man and family stuff xxx hope I'm not coming across as being sexist, not my intention. 

I am not an expert but I believe that this is all part of healing. There will become a time when it won't cut so deep and feel so raw. Promise. 
 

You loved your wife and recognise her as the wonderful woman she was. I think...if you said to your wife now, "I am consumed with guilt because I didn't help you as much as I could around the house and that I didn't help you when I took that week off!"....I bet she would say, "oh give over! Stop worrying about that! It's so insignificant, forget it!" 
 

If my fella came home and said that to me, I know I'd say something similar. I.E well thanks for saying but don't be silly - I know you're tired from work, forget it! 
 

Please feel free to check in again, let us know how you're getting on xxx 

Agree with Rebecca 100% - some of us....yes...we nag...but we secretly love keeping the house. Sometimes I just say "oi - hang that washing up, I've been on this house all day".

I know what the answer will be (I.E flat out refusing) but....like to have a secret smile to myself anyway