I lost my mom jut a little over a month ago now. Stage 4 when we found it ~7 years ago and she fought hard. She went to the hospital after she restarted chemo again and had an infection that, combined with the cancer in her liver, took her within a week.

I wasn't able to visit due to covid except for one hour when she was no longer conscious. I feel the same as you.. distraught, but also relieved she no longer is suffering.

I'm still learning to cope. Some minutes are harder than others. I try to remember and to live a life that she would be telling me to live if she were here with me.

I'm sorry for your loss and understand your pain. No words are enough during this time, but try and remember how fortunate you are to have known someone like your mom.

Take care of yourself. try and eat and sleep although it will be understandably hard to.

- patrick