Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 3 replies
  • Views 287 views
  • Users 0 members are here

i dont know how i should feel ??

pinknotts
Offline

My dad left me 2 weeks ago from bowel cancer it is still so  unreal , i started back at work this past monday as i would sit at home in silence with my cat i just want to walk and walk ,i have intermittent bursts of crying at random times . I just still cannot believe i will never see him again or my cat will never sit on his hind legs and  try and scratch him or bite him ever again. Or if i forget my keys i cant call him to come let me in with his spare. 

What do i do right now ?? I just want to be left alone eat pasta nothing complicated or sit in the middle of a field, yet i can look so strong and put a smile on for everyone and strangers who say hello . :sad:

  • Offline

    Hi pinknotts I lost my husband on 1st may this year from bowel cancer, cancer is so cruel and heartbreaking my husband was only 52 when he passed away . I miss him so much every day and cry most days but like you I'm back at work and try to put a brave face on and when people ask how I am I just say yes I'm OK when really all I want to do is scream, shout, and cry, I don't think there is any right or wrong as to how you feel as everyone deals with grief differently. I try to keep busy and being on here helps, you hopefully find your own way to cope and you can always speak to people on here if you need to talk or rant and rave about how you are feeling. Take care x

  • Offline

    Dear friend..my thoughts are with you...if you want to scream and shout do it...if you want to b left alone tell everyone leave me alone...never feel you have to put a brave face on because you dont....just let all your feelings and heartbreak out my sweet...people are so caught up in doing the proper way of going through grief that they dont grieve...let it all out....shout and scream your lungs out....god bless hun. Xxx

  • Offline in reply to Bulldogz

    Thankyou so much , reading this i was able to tell my husband i wanted that day to walk to work now he asks me I feel i have now feel i have  lost my mum and sister as they are always going out  together no asking me if i wwould like to go . Now it is a force to go round to my mums just a problem after another , close to saying dont worry you wont have me around after the funeral ill keep away and just come and check on dads canaries just be together . 

     sorry i was just in a flow 

     pink x

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.