Hi, iv never wrote on anything like this before but I just need to talk really. I lost my mum on Friday and I'm completely lost! 
my mum had a sore on her chest for some time, she knew about it and didn't say and I seen it and also didn't say. Her mobility started to decrease and her arm started swelling, she was taking to hospital and told she had Breast cancer than had spread to her lungs and bones. This wasn't treatable but they where looking to manage it, she was getting home the next day. I was up visiting her and the nurses put her into bed she looked at me said "hi" and her eyes rolled back, she suffered a cardiac arrest and was gone in minutes. My mum was my everything, in the last 3 years I have lost my dad, gran and now my wonderful mum. The guilt I feel for not pressuring her to see the doctor although each time you say this she said "I'm fine". I have a amazing partner and I keep telling myself maybe it was my gran that came for her seeing what was to come and the pain she would have been in over the coming months, but nothing is taking the pain away. I can't  cry because I'm in such shock but I don't know how I'm going to carry on the rest of my life without her