I miss my dad

I miss my Dad. 

I'm 17, and almost 18, almost a man. I lost my Dad at 12 to a brian tumour. There isnt a day that goes by where I dont think about him. I live with my mum and sister, and I miss him. I watch football by myself, my favourite team, our favourite team, man united, I turn around to the sofa, and hes not there, hes not there to share anything with me. I want him to share my life with, I've just met a girl I think I love and I wish he could meet her, I just want him to be alive, I want to make sure I've become the man he wanted me to be. I dont want to let him down. I dont understand how I feel or how to change it. All I know is, I miss my dad, and I dont know if I'm doing life right. 

  • Hi Aidan,

    I was so sorry to read your post, losing your dad, any parent is I think the hardest thing we will ever experience. Although I am a lot older than you, I lost my beautiful mum to cancer and you're right, we think about them every day. It's very hard, especially when you experience new things, as you say, meeting a new girl, I understand, of course, you want to share that with your dad.

    It struck me when you asked about if you're doing life right, I'm not sure anyone really knows that, you do the best you can at the time and sometimes we get it right but we also all make mistakes, have regrets but I guess that's what makes us who we are. Try not to be so hard on yourself.

    I don't know you but your post made me feel how courageous and thoughtful you are and how, at a younger age, you are also there for your sister and mum.....much more brave than me.

    Some people on this forum talk about memory books, perhaps just writing down things you remember about your lovely dad or even 'telling him' about what is going on in your life...I 'talk' to my mum's photo, sometimes with tears as I miss her so much, other times I'm ok.

    Aidan, I don't think we ever get over our loss but there will come a time when it becomes easier.I'm a strong believer in that they still watch over us and if you don't mind me saying, I think your dad ( and your mum) would be so very proud of you.

    If it helps, others may have mentioned, I would speak to your GP, he/she should be able to also point you in the direction of counselling if you feel that might help, especially for younger people. I find it hard to talk to my dad about mum, without getting upset or frightened I'll upset him but those closest to us will have the most understanding; we're all individuals and as such deal with grief differently. There is no right or wrong way and no time limits.

    Take care.

  • Hi Aidan. I think the very fact you are wise and insightful enough to ask that question demonstrates that you are doing right. You say you watch football alone. I wonder if the loyalty and love you have for your dad is preventing you from developing frindships that may be supportive during this time. Something I'm sure of is that he would be immensely proud of the man you are becoming. Live your life to the best of your ability and don't deny yourself those important relationships for fear that you may suffer loss again. You're an extremely intelligent young man so trust your instincts in life, but don't be afraid to follow your heart. 
    I wish you all the best things that life has to offer as you deserve this in abundance. Take the best care of yourself.