I lost my partner in January to lung cancer together 38 years it is destroying me I feel like I cant go on I knew he was dying and sort of prepared myself which I think I greived whilst he was here worst 8 month of my life I was pleased he no longer had to suffer with that vile disease and I am pleased I dont have to wake up to have that dreaded cancer on my mind day in and day out I whispered my goodbyes in his ear but I didnt want to be there when he died he didnt know anybody was there if he had been awake I would have stayed but he went very peaceful he told me to be strong and I was at his funeral and just after his passing because his misery was over but lately its hit me like a bag of spanners I cant stopmthinking bout him and crying I dont even want to be herebwithout him they say time heals for me its getting worse just feel I cant move on and this lockdown aint helping I hope this can get better cos this is unbearable x
