Lost partner of 38 years to lung cancer, really struggling

I lost my partner in January to lung cancer together 38 years it is destroying me I feel like I cant go on I knew he was dying and sort of prepared myself which I think I greived whilst he was here worst 8 month of my life I was pleased he no longer had to suffer with that vile disease and I am pleased I dont have to wake up to have that dreaded cancer on my mind day in and day out I whispered my goodbyes in his ear but I didnt want to be there when he died he didnt know anybody was there if he had been awake I would have stayed but he went very peaceful he told me to be strong and I was at his funeral and just after his passing because his misery was over but lately its hit me like a bag of spanners I cant stopmthinking bout him and crying I dont even want to be herebwithout him they say time heals for me its getting worse just feel I cant move on and this lockdown aint helping I hope this can get better cos this is unbearable x

  • Hi there ...

    So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... it makes it even cruler with this covid virus now ... so my heart goes out to you ...

    I think you were holding everything in while things were getting sorted ... like your brain was holding everything together ... and then later, it just let everything out ... sort of like a pressure cooker ... but now is the time to give yourself permission to grieve ... being "brave" and holding feelings in does no one any good ... it's getting things in balance ... 

    I'm sure he's looking down feeling very proud of you, but now is the time to be kind to your self ... it's part of the price we pay for loveing someone so much ... and many will never know the love you had for all those years ... but just try and get through one day at a time... have you family you can call or chat too .. later there maybe clubs you could join, where others have been where you are now ... 

    I'm sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie x

  • Thankyou chrissie I think your right I just cant wait to get this lockdown over and try and get on with my life I would like to wish yourself and family all the very best liz x

  • Dear liz i know what your going through i too lost my partner of 25yrs last june. It does hit you so damn hard after wards. Im still in limbo i thought we wud b together until we grew old. I wish i cud giv you comfort but please beleive me you are not alone. I know our loved ones are still here watching over us thier angels in no more pain and suffering they are up above free from this lifes turmoil and that gives me some peace. I know this might not help no words can. We have to carry on for them. If i could wave a magic wand by god i would. But life is not the way we wish it would be. Have hope we will meet them again.Xxx god bless sweetXx