I'm so sorry to read about your dad. It's absolutely not your fault though, so please don't think that. No doubt you're feeling a range of emotions at the moment but try not to be hard on yourself.
Hopefully you have others around you who you can speak to about this. There are also organisations who offer support or that you can speak to if you would like to, like Cruse.
Do take care of yourself, and while things will no doubt be tough for a while, they will eventually get easier.
