Hello Gtp,

Yes, I agree its very difficult to get on with life. I hate cancer too, I lost my Mum and it feels so unfair.

I've managed to go forward in life as I would have before but of course everything has changed. Sometimes I'll be doing a normal everyday task and then I remember and its so painful. I genuinely think it takes years and years for the new reality to sink in. I'm only ten months in so relatively new to the club. (worst club ever)

My Mum was my shining light and best friend. I've realised no one cares about the things you do as much as your Mum, you can tell them anything about your life and they are excited or happy for you. Life without them leaves such a void that i'm not sure can be filled.

It does get a little easier I am learning, but grief is like waves and sometimes they crash over you and take you back under. 

Like you I do think this forum is great, its helped me tremendously to hear others stories, you learn everyone has to go through awful things and its possible to keep going. 

Here if you need to chat!

Katie

Xxx

Hi Gtp

i lost my angel mum on 9 April -covid 19, however she did have aggressive cancer which scared her so very much  - gastric adeno carcinoma & she didn't want to fight it I can tell. She gave up after the doc told her she was terminal. She got COVid from being put on a ward with corona patients.

since then it's been nowt but never ending stress. Bills, tasks, expenses ... I feel very alone now - no parents and I am a grown up orphan at the age of 35.  My husband has been very good and practical too but we do fight . I find that all other love is conditional but with mum it was just Love. I miss her so much. I feel so alone. My daughter is distraught too but even losing a Nanna, it is heartbreaking enough but losing a mother is worse in my eyes I am far more broken now than when I lost my Nan when I was 15. I hurt a lot then, but I will hurt forever now. I can't see anything but pain.

Hi 

Thank you for your kind reply .. I am really struggling with this tbh. Just can't believe she has gone & I will never see her loving face again or hug her or hold her hand. Can I send you a private message if you'd prefer?  
 

take care - hugs to you xx

Yes of course, it would be good to talk xxx