Hi, I sympathize with you, my husband passed away too of this disease just over a week ago, he battled for nearly a year and was only 44. We have two girls, 8 and 12 who seem to be coping well compared to me...I'm feeling pretty lost and alone... I know I have to carry on for the children's sakes, but the future seems empty and lonely, and it's hard to get enthusiasm up for anything really...all my future plans and hope's and dreams are gone, they were for both of us, not just me on my own..I dont want to go thru life without him, at the moment it feels like hes just away (he used to travel for work sometimes) but of course hes not...sorry I'm not much help, have thought about joining a widows group of some sort, but cant do anything at the moment with the lockdown.  but wanted you to know you are not alone,  it is a greedy disease that ate my husband up and I miss him dreadfully as you do your wife...

Hi, So sorry to hear about your husband it must be so raw for you he was so young. The feeling of being lost and alone i share with you and as for the future i take one day at a time. It's funny you should mention your daughters as my daughter coped very well but loosing our soulmate is i think very different emotionally. Look, keep strong it's very hard and let the tears come out when you feel the need. I feel this forum is excellent as you tend to think your the only one going through the pain it's very good therapy to share your emotions. I thank you so much for your reply and send  lots of love to you and your daughters

x

Hi,

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Reading your post I can tell the love and care you have for your dear wife and I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this pain. It is even more cruel for you to be in lockdown by yourself. Talking on the phone with your daughter is good, are you able to FaceTime each other? I find that it really helps feel closer to that person and you will both really need to comfort each other right now. 

I lost my Nan in January to secondary liver cancer and she died 3 weeks after the cancer being confirmed. My Nan too had an unpleasant death which I witnessed and I find it very distressing and hard not to remember. Is there bereavement counselling you can sign up for? I'm currently on the waiting list but I think it's a really healthy step to coping with loss. 

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss and wishing you some comfort talking to your daughter and I really hope this lockdown is lifted soon. It's such a difficult time where you need to be surrounded by supportive people. 

Warm wishes,

Cx 

Hi, Thank you so much for your reply. I am so sorry to hear about your Nan it must have been such a shock to lose her so quickly and my thoughts are with you at this horrible time. Yes i can and do Face Time with my daughter and your idea about counselling is  excellent  and i will look into it. I wish for all our sakes that this lock down will come to an end soon and as you say we can at least socialise with family and friends.

Thanks once again

X

Yes I think it is different losing your partner,  he was in my life long before the children were, and I was expecting us to have many years again doing what we chose together after they had left home..I think one of the differences is they are just starting their lives and have so much in front of them to look forward to in the future,  for me the future just looks bleak now...I am also trying to take one day at a time,  try and get one small thing done every day and keep plodding on..

Please , please achive one thing at a time it's early days for both of us. I try to focus on a small job just to clear my mind if not i sink into depression which is not good. Hopefully you have friends and family around you but in the lockdown this is not much use but keep talking to your loved ones if you can.. It's very hard and i always think all i want is my wife back and in your case your dear husband. I pray for you every night stay in touch and tell me how your getting on

X

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing the love of your life is the most tramatic thing we will encounter and being alone with your grief and your thoughts 24 hours a day is hell. Please know that even if you don't believe in such things, she is there with you, watching over you and trying to make contact. For me it was my husbands name Pat or his hour of death Nover 11 at 11:11pm that kept popping up in front of me. 11:11 was everywhere. So I am certain she is trying to do the same for you. I found this picture on the internet after my husband's death and it made me feel better. I hope it comforts you. [[]]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry you have to go through this. It is hell. And especially when you have all these dreams of your kids graduations, weddings, retiring, traveling etc. I hope you find something to help you stay grounded while you battle the overwhelming grief. And then someone to help you when you finally work through it. My husband died two years ago and it took me a year to get out of bed. Thank goodness a therapist saw me bouncing off the walls and helped me get it together. So stay strong because it gets worse before it gets better. God Bless.

I read your post and it seems to sum up how I feel and myb partner is not dead yet! She has been diagnosed as terminal with a few months lef, adenocarcinoma from her lung to brain. She is in hospital now and I'm hoping will be home this week.

I always aw myself as a tough guy (ex military etc) but now all my walls have collapsed and I am vacillating between periods of weeping and cursing life in general with very little else between, I know things will get better when she comes home.

Your post has reassured me that I'm not going to mess things up so thank you for your frankness and decency.