Hi there ...

So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... and that's hard enough , but with this carona virus,  it's doubly crule ... 

You know it's o.k to feel anger or cry or cuss ... it's part of that first initial pain ... even numbness ... everyone grieves differently .. and one thing I've learned about men, is they try to hold feelings in, they were taught years ago to "be a man" and "big boys dont cry" and then we wonder why they look unemotional ... where as girls were allowed to cry .. allowed to feel upset .. we were allowed to share feelings ...  

So please take it easy on your bro, he's just dealing with his feelings in his own way .. it's not those that cry the loudest, that hurt the most ... it is those holding it in .. he's probly trying to be brave for you and mum ... it's sad all round ... we can either come together in our own ways , or fall out , because we can't understand how others cope .. 

Those that cry and sob and get angry are letting feelings out, your brothers feelings may come out later, when he can process his feelings ...  my sister died of dementure last month .. only a few were allowed in to the chapple for her funeral, I was not able to go in ... and missed saying that last good bye to my sister .. but this is the scary time we live in now .. your dad knew how much you loved him ... but try to remember all those years you had him well .. when he held you as a baby  ...helped you walk .. watched you grow ... saw you turn into the adult you are now .. 

He was not carona or cancer .. they want to take those lovely memories and replace them with those last memories they made ... your dad will want you to remember the good ones .. sinse I was diagnosed , weather cancer or carona take me, I'd hope they would know how much I loved them, and them me .. and remember our smiles , funny moments ... and the years we had before ...

Sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie x