Sorry you are self isolating so soon after losing husband 7 months ago to lung cancer at just 54 yrs old.

I hope you can cherish thosee 26 happy years together.  

It must feel like a knock down as you just started to pick yourself up.

I am glad you have two amazing children age 16 and 19.

Can you skype, or facetime them to keep communication going?

I am housebound but not due to corona, our local council provided a list of local volunteer groups, and I found a really helpful facebook page that has people volunteering to get shopping, prescriptions, laundry etc.

Can you enquire at your local council? Do you qualify as vulnerable according to the government, gov.uk has corona info, either way, I would contact your local council, or even go on facebook and ask locally if there is any support groups, I was amazed at how many support groups there are in my small rural town.

It's ok to cry, I understand you want to be strong for your children but I am sure they will understand you are so obviously upset.

Hi Victoria, I can imagine how you are feeling because I'm experiencing something similar. My mum died 3 weeks ago today and I miss her so much. We lived together so I am always aware of her absence. I have health problems and haven't been out of the house since the funeral. It"s not that I'm on my own because my brother is living with me, it's more that I don't want him to constantly have to pick me up when he's grieving himself.

I don't have a partner or kids and my mum and I did everything together but I think I could cope better if I could see the rest of my family and friends. Phoning isn't the same, my cousin who is like a sister to me phones every day but she has her own family to look after so I don't want to be constantly crying to her because I know she worries about me.

If I didn't have this forum I think I would crsck up completely. 

Hi there Victoria

This is a nightmare situation we find ourselves in and those who are grieving are going through hell. My mother has stage 4 cancer and is in the hospital & I can't see her anymore till she goes home & no one knows when that will be I am pushing for next week but no one really knows. I'm not grieving for her death yet but it feels like I am because that vibrant strong beautiful woman she was has died & she is now a frail , stricken scared and bewildered person nothing like how she was at all & thinking back to how she was when I was a child now just makes me bawl ..

It's hard not to cry I still grieve for my grandparents and my dear daddy who died in 2012 of this nasty cancer. Being isolated is so depressing.. this year is a bad dream.

wishing you strength, Victoria in the days to come until the world can go back to some sort of normality.

Helen.

Hi Victoria,

im so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. I’m going through the same thing with my dad. My mum and dad were married for 51 years together since they were 18 years old. He got diaywith pancreatic cancer in January and died 2 weeks later. Complete and utter shock. Now like yourself my mum is self isolating at a time when she needs to be with her family. There is me my 2 sisters and brother. We all have our own families but we make sure we all call her everyday and FaceTime but it’s not the same. For my mum waking up everyday in the house on her own not being able to leave the house. 

Your husband was so young. It must be horrible for you being married all them years and I imagine you both had plans for the future. My mum and dad both 70 was just getting into getting away every 3-4 months inengland fishing and just chilling out. My dad caught 5 fish on his 70 birthday which is unusual for my dad haha I think someone was looking down on him that day haha

but we are going to come through this and so are you Victoria. We won’t  be isolating forever let this time just be time for yourself. Do a list of all the things you want to do in your life that’s what I’ve told my mum to do...even though she says what’s the point it’s not that he same...I know she will heal eventually and so will you. It’s nice you have supportive children and good friends...maybe on every night FaceTime a friend a have a glass or wine or a larger. If you fancy a chat I’m here 

big hugs 

charlotte xx

Hi Victoria,

I'm very sorry to hear that you lost your husband. I lost my partner of 27 years to Leukaemia 4 months ago. Before the self isolation I also felt that I was starting to come out of the fog and began going back to my yoga classes and tried to meet up with friends regularly. Now I feel that everything has regressed. It was his birthday recently and then mine yesterday and being/feeling alone at this time is terrible - I just keep thinking of all the things I wish I had done with him and want to cry all the time. I am even regretting that we never had children together.

As Charlotte said, it's a great idea to make a list of things that you would like to do in your life. I had an online drink with a friend yesterday and it made me feel happier. 

It is so hard with the lockdown situation and missing our loved one. At times things do seem pointless. However, I have found that is so important to chat with our friends and family about our loved one and how we feel. Having video calls is also good, seeing your friends faces gives you back some kind of normality in these challenging times. 

Keep strong and safe, 

Best wishes, Jayne

Hi Jayne

so sorry to here of your loss too.  How old was your partner?  It feels like your right hand has been chopped off doesn’t it with out them around .  I get that too at the moment even more wanting to cry all the time as he should be with me now going through this tough time .  I feel I have to keep strong and happy for my children as my son is finding this difficult as cannot we his girlfriend .  I just feel like this is so much tougher when you have lost someone as this is the time you want to get yourself out and socialise.  I hope you are not on your own are you staying with family? I have got a puppy and she has been great help as she makes me get up in the morning to walk her.  She has so much love to give this was a big life changer for me as I have never had a dog before .  She lifts me up when I am feeling down . I’m always here if you want to talk just message me 

Victoria x

Hi Victoria, 

Thank you for your kindness. How are you coping? As you say, it is like your right hand has been chopped off without them there by your side to help and support you through these challenging times.  I am a school teacher and the past month has been overwhelming for me work wise as I've had to learn to teach via video calling and do more lesson preparation than normal . In some ways it has been good to be so busy as it does take mind off things a little. Although, I am finding it quite mentally and physically exhausting.

It was lovely to hear that you have a puppy and that she helps lift your spirits when down. I've been making sure that I go for a walk every day so that I see real people - even though I sometimes have to push myself to do it. Now that the restrictions have eased a bit. I am looking forward to finally meeting a friend for a walk as I have been alone during lockdown. Hopefully you have now been able to meet with friends for long dog walks.

Keep strong and safe

Jayne x