I know what you mean when you say you feel your dad can't be gone because I feel like that about my mum. I look at photos and can't get my head round the fact that she has died, it's all so unreal. I stood at the graveside and comforted my cousin but I felt that they could have been burying someone from down the street.

My mum died 3 weeks ago today and every time I let myself think of life without her I am having panic attacks. I have M.E and fibromyalgia and had to give up work several years ago. I lived with my mum and as I am housebound a lot of the time we did everything together. I read comments from people in their teens and twenties who are coping and I feel so ashamed that I'm not. I'm 51, I should pull myself together but I just see the rest of my life as me putting on a brave face while just waiting to see my mum again. This isolation isn't helping either. My brother is doing all the shopping for me and has been an absolute rock but I miss having another female to give me a great big hug. Anyway my brother is grieving too so it's not fair to make him deal with my feelings too. I'm sure my deluge of self pity won't have helped you but hopefully someone can come along and give you some hope that you will start to feel differently. Take csre

Hello there

Please don't worry that you are not coping - you are in your own way and that means being bereft and sad. That is all part of grief. My own mother has cancer and may not have long the doctor said he can't give a specific prognosis but it could be anything from a year to 2 years with treatment but only 6 months without -she has late stage gastric cancer. I am grieving now. Not grieving her death as she's not, I am grieving her as she was before. Strong beautiful funny kind and loving. She's now frail and scared plus has very little appetite since the diagnosis. Day after day since I heard the word cancer, I've cried and cried. I am 35 years old myself so I ain't a child but this has made me feel lost and afraid .., I have had bad dreams of my mum getting cancer since I was small and thankfully she never ever had it until now... I just wish this was all just a dream. I know what you mean about a female to hug you! I have my hubby and he's a darling, but I love my mum's protective hugs. I am going to miss them so much.

You take care of yourself, ok , and it is fine to cry just let it out hun xx

Alfie1212. Thankyou for your message.  Your situation is exactly as mine but you are a few years ahead of me in the greiving process and reading your reply helped me a lot to see that i am not cold and heartless and that I'm not alone in how I'm greiving.  Thankyou so much.  Star2000. Im sorry to hear you have your own health issues,  you must be an extremely strong person to have dealt with your lose whilst comforting others.  Stay strong,  ypu must be a beautiful soul. Ihatecancer 1988, Im so sorry to hear about your mom.  Thankyou for your story,  i know what you are going through and i wish for everything to go as well with your mom's treatment add it can go. Sadly my dads cancer caused him to starve as he couldn't get food passed the cancer into his stomach so by time he got the appointment to start chemo,  he was to weak. I wish you and your mom all the best and a positive outcome.  XxX