Hello and welcome to the forum but sorry that you find yourself here.

I am so sorry that you have lost your Dad to this awful disease but I am not sure why you blame yourself? I am very sure that your Dad wouldn't want you to be feeling this way . 

As it is only a few months since you lost him things will still be very raw for you but you really need to stop blaming yourself and feeling guilty.

If you feel as if you can't go on please speak to someone, friends or other family members or Samaritans.

I lost my husband almost four years ago to lung cancer and at times have felt as if I couldn't go on but we have to try and think of the happy times before cancer took over.

You are not to blame in any way so hang on in there.

Sending caring thoughts to you.

Lynne,