Amy I am so sorry for the passing of a loved one ,I've got posts on another page .My wife Andrea passed away on the 3rd April from metastatic pancreatic cancer,we'd found out on 8th January that she had a tumour and it was inoperable and chemo or radiotherapy could be an option. After many trips to different hospitals we were no further forward and because the appointments were weeks apart we both thought there was no panic and that the tumor was in its early stage.Wrong... Andrea got very I'll soon after and was vomiting in the early hours, she was admitted to hospital that morning and told to prepare for an operation to free a blockage of her bowels.Andrea rang me the next day for me to come in early to see the doctor ,I thought nothing was out of order and turned up to see Andrea, she told me that they had looked at further scans x rays etc and that the cancer had spread and that her life expectancy could be 6/8 weeks.My world collapsed how could Andrea be so calm about news like this. She told me that she was fine and that we should stick together and not cry to much.Andrea came home with a morphine driver and an NG tube with a bag from her nose.I called the district nurses most nights because of the pain and slickness, Andrea was eating less and less sometimes half a biscuit a day along with her strawberry shakes.She eventually got worse and was admitted to a hospice I stayed every night and went home on a morning to sleep better and to wash.Andrea's condition got worse but saying that at some points in the day she would chat and look as though she was getting a little better.She said I had to stay strong for our two daughters and two grandsons.I preyed to god for extra time not years but for extra weeks she made it past mother's day even though she didn't know what it meant I knew she probably wouldn't see her next birthday which would have made her a big 50. Andrea was getting really I'll sleeping and uncontrolled shaking she was vomiting more all this black brown smelly liquid and she was very restless during the night wanting to use the toilet even though she had a bag fitted. Due to the coronavirus restrictions I had a slight cough and was told that I couldn't visit anymore and that I could say goodbye that morning Andrea didn't know who I was.She was a skeleton of woman I knew she was really I'll.I rang the next day at various times to ask how she was doing and they said that she hadn't woken that day.I rang at seven in the evening and she was asleep. Then our house phone tang at twenty to eight with the call nobody wants to answer I couldn't be there with her but the nurses were in her final moments the 6/8 weeks were shortened to just 4 weeks Andrea was just 49 and a beautiful woman but this *** of a selfish disease had absolutely destroyed her body/life everything.Dammn you cancer now your wrecking my life, so my dear Amy I kind of can understand how it can be thankfully others will never understand and I am thinking of you and many others on this forum.Take care and as my days are now unplanned and the dread of loneliness is here for now,I remember in our last days together some words that she said and I will never forget ''Ray how did we get like this '' xx

Hi Devondog,

I'm deeply sorry about your beautiful Andrea. 

I remember when my dad come round to our house to give us the news of his diagnosis and the prognosis which was weeks to months; pure shock and disbelief. 

First question I asked was "where is the pancreas!?"

As you do you research the hell out of it, trying to find as much hope as you can. 

It's so deadly and the awful part is it grows to an advanced stage over 11 or more years. 

I'm just truly sorry for your families loss, sending my love and strength to you and your family.

Here for you.

Amy xx

Hi Devondog,

I'm deeply sorry about your beautiful Andrea. 

I remember when my dad come round to our house to give us the news of his diagnosis and the prognosis which was weeks to months; pure shock and disbelief. 

First question I asked was "where is the pancreas!?"

As you do you research the hell out of it, trying to find as much hope as you can. 

It's so deadly and the awful part is it grows to an advanced stage over 11 or more years. 

I'm just truly sorry for your families loss, sending my love and strength to you and your family.

Here for you.

Amy xx

Hi  Amy sorry to pester you at late night just read your post and to you from others, Andrea had a hysterectomy at 38 because of cancer but she thought that was it all done she had screening s after that and the tests were clear but she didn, persue because she felt okay but anyway take care Amy xx and if you can keep in touch x it's Andrea's funeral on the 20 April with this lockdown contact with people has been difficult signing cremation paperwork on undertakers cars.I can say to all you out there who are going through the agony of either caring for a loved one or trying to cope and get through your day after the passing of a very special person.The worst times are when I wake up alone  the other times are just sitting at home downstairs expecting my wife to ring or turn up to tell me what kind of morning she has had, but those times are gone and the memories come back of hospital visits district nurses coming out all hours to help with pain and vomiting then the hospice and us sitting outside in the grounds and you saying to me Ray "how did we end up like this". Well Andrea you just have a rest now.The funeral is tomorrow and until we meet again I miss you xx