Ah now that's a big question. I lost mum last year in August. She was 70. I get jealous too of seeing people with elderly mums. And I know that lots of people don't get there mums to live to 70.  
 

im so sorry for your loss.  It's such a hideous time. It's been 7 months for me  Mum was told she had broken a rib. Then she got pneumonia and collapsed and went into hospital where they diagnosed cancer in her lungs and bones . She died just two days later after they told us.  I still can't comprehend it. I'm still unbearably sad with a heavy ache in my chest.  I was mad with grief in the early days. Unable to work or get out of the house. So I guess it does get better as I'm now back at work and I can socialise a bit more now.  
 

I will never get over it. And the shock of how fast it happened hits me and every morning I wake up and I shake with anxiety.  But I'm getting better at handling it all I guess.  
 

we all have regrets. Should have done more. Should have seen then more. Should should should. It's part of grief. Just try remember the positives and happy times. Remember how much you loved her and how loved she was. It's a long bumpy road.  It's not easy and no point in me telling you it is.  But somehow we have to get through it. Get through it. Not over it. 
 

I also didn't expect mum to passso quick. The day before she died I only stayed for 3/4 hours.  Then I took the children to pizza express for a bit of a break. Dad took over from me and did the afternoon/evening shift. My plan was to go in the next day and stay all day and overnight with her. When I walked in the next day she was unconscious and died a few hours later. If I had known. It was her last days I would never have left that hospital. 
 

Thank you for sharing your experience. How long did it take you to get back to work. It's so weird go the world moves on and you feel like your world will never be the same

It took me 3 months to go back to work but on reduced hours. And really only a month ago where i felt capable of doing more hours. 
 

it does take a long time be prepared for that it's  very very early days for you.  My counsellor says even 7 months for me is very early days.  
 

it's a slow process but I'm told eventually you learn to live with the pain. And you learn to live a different life without them.  

Thank you x