Firstly I'm so so sorry for what you are going through.  It's absolutely hideous. I pray your husband gets a lot more time with you. 
 

 Thank you for your words. You have made cry with relief.  As if a little weight  has been lifted.  I used to suffer with health anxiety it's a very frightening world when you suffer with mental health. And the thought of my mum being alone without it used to worry me so much. I think it used to terrify her. She sometime used to wonder round the shops until dad came home so she wasn't at home alone.  She did have good spells. But when it was bad. It was bad. 
 

life is cruel at times.  . I really did think it would be too cruel for my mum to be alone.  I hope you are getting support too. 

Hi yes, I have some support from Macmillan and palliative nurses. I also have a C. P. N, you will know what that is I think. You need to feel free to grieve now without guilt and try to remember the times when your mum was having good spells. 

Take care of yourself big hugs Christine xxxx 

You were with your mum in her last moments, with your Dad; you held her, till her last breaths. The sum of our love is in such actions, and you were there, loving her. 

You're bereaved, suffering; all sorts of things go on in our minds as we try to 'make sense' of this. But rational sense doesn't really come into this. Be at peace, your Mum now is, no longer anxious and in pain. You and your Dad look after each other, one day at a time, and keep loving your Mum and speaking to, and of her. 

Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot.  I'm going to try and focus rationally on te positives.  It's just hard sometimes. I'm a guilty person by nature always worrying i have offended people. I'm hoping that mum knowing me as she did that I would have only meant it out of kindness and love.