Your not being selfish your grieving for your dad and just want him back. Completely understand as I lost my dad June last year and every day I still wake up and ask myself is it real . I still feel like I'm living someone else's life ? Anyway I have 2 very young children who keep me going everyday . If there is anything my dads death has taught me it's how precious life is . I know I have a long time to live without my dad ( hopefully ) so I'm making the most of every minute I have on this Earth and creating the best life for my little family, just like my dad did for us . Your dad will always be with you - and when people use to say that to me I didn't understand what they meant until recently . You are part of him, your son is part of him . Think of all he taught you and all those amazing memories he gave to you . He will always be there as he lives on through you . Your grief is still very raw . I barely remember when I was 2 months into my grief journey ..9 months on for me and things are a little different , still hard and still painful but a little different  . You will get there x 

I am so very sorry for the devastating loss of your dad which is so incredibly painful for you and your son. You are not at all selfish just really brave to be sharing your thoughts. I just lost my best friend to brain cancer at 48 so although it's different to loss of a parent I really feel your pain.   
 

I just wondered if it might be possible to have a series of bereavement counselling sessions. Im

in the process of this and it helps to have someone to talk very openly to who will always be non judgmental. Also I wondered if you heard of Winstons Wish? If you google then you should see more info on how they do really good packs to help children who have lost a loved one. They are free, you just have to phone them.   There's info on how children grieve, what to expect and some lovely activities and arts and crafts ideas to do to remember a loved one.  I'm so very sorry for how painful and savage this is. Your dad will live on in your heart and mind, I really believe that. I know it's far easier said than done but I'm certain he would want you to to be happy. You are in my thoughts and I wish you all the very best. 

Thankyou so much for your kind words I know that although the pain is unbearable we will come out the other side and make my dad proud it means a lot to know I'm not alone and  the kind words I have been receiving have really helped whether friend parent or neighbour when you lose someone you love it still cuts deeply because we love them but we carry their memory in our hearts and are better people for knowing them 

Your words are a great comfort thank you I know I will get there and will fulfill all the the dreams he had for us have just received a locket with his fingerprint every time I feel down it will be a special reminder in years to come what an amazing person he was