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Lost my husband 3 days ago

Redcherry1980
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I lost my husband, my best friend 3 days ago after a long fight to Lymphoma.

we have two daughters who are 10 & 13. He was only 49 years old and worshipped the ground the 3 of us walked on.

he was our world and I'm struggling to even try and come to terms with our new life. 
I struggle for breath sometimes and feel like I'm panicking as I can't deal with the pain.

i sob myself to sleep every night and wake constantly through the night hoping I wake up and it's not happened.

im at my parents house with the girls as they have been my rock.

and I've organised to have our bed taken away and a new one ordered. Funny as it sounds our bed was where we loved each other intimately but also where he suffered his most painful days with his cancer.

reaching out as don't feel like I can cope.

jo xx

  • Offline in reply to plebbs

    Hi there I lost my husband to oesophagas cancer that had spread to his liver and both lungs on Christmas Day he was diagnosed and gone within 6 weeks and before that had not been ill at all only feeling of indigestion!! What a shock this has been I can't stop crying and feel so lost without him I know just how your feeling look after yourself xxxx

  • Offline in reply to Mollyholly

    HI, sorry to have to meet you through such an awful occurance, my husband was the same when diagnosed, just a bit of indigestion, but it was hiding something huge!  We have known for the last 10 months he wasn't curable, but were hoping for longer then this - a few weeks ago they said the new treatment he was on was likely to work for between 1 and 3 years, then suddenly they say "it hasn't worked sorry, you've got weeks".  It's so hard to come to terms with having such a limited time left...

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    Incredibly brave of you to write about this Jo, sounds like he was a remarkable husband and best friend to you but what a legacy he has left with an amazing family. We are all here for support if you need it through the hard times ahead! Having lost my mum recently I know its weird time with lots full on emotional events to come but you are not alone and you need to make sure you look after yourself as well as your girls.

    Scott x

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    I'm so sorry for your loss . I would like to say I can't imagine what you are going through but sadly I can (almost ) my soul mate and husband was diagnosed with cancer at Christmas and tonight I'm looking at a man I don't recognise with a very short time left . I wish I could say something postive or helpful but I can't I'm hurting for you and your girls and for myself and our sons. All I can do is send you my love and offer you support xxxxxxxx 

  • Offline in reply to DBear

    Sending you so much love back! What cancer was he diagnosed with at Christmas if you don't mind me asking? Is at home with you on morphine? Xxxxx

  • Offline in reply to Redcherry1980

    There's the million dollar question !! A misdiagnosis was told lung now it seems it's wrong but anyway it's now wide spread and we are losing him because the hospital got it wrong from the very start originally being diagnosed with a broken shoulder , wrong then lung cancer . Yes he has been on since Dec . Sending you so much love xxx

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    Hi there

    i am sorry to hear of your great loss.

    i lost my dad 3.5 years ago, I really do not know how the time has gone , I never ever thought that the pain of grief would ever get better at the time, I still feel it happened yesterday but now not in a sad way but a close memory. 

    I had the funeral director do fingerprints which I had made into a pendant , hair and also my dad was cremated so had some ashes put in a Bracelet so he is with me each day, this I think bought me a lot of comfort and still does. 

    Each day I tackled differently until my heart and head was ready to open up again, even now I don’t think I am totally normal but I get though life and am living it which I think is the most importantly part especially for your children, which you will start to do again but in a different way  as one day we all meet up again x

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