I lost my mum in may 2019 1 day before her 70th birthday. We were so close and she was the best mum and grandma we could of asked for. 
I feel I lived and have been living in a fog that I cannot get out of. Lives just lost its sparkle and things don't feel the same. 
My daughter was ill medically over the last few months of mums illness and I feel so guilty and sad I could not of been there more. 
She asked me 3 days before she died if this was the end? I could not answer her and changed the question. 
I was always so busy being a mum I feel so sad I did not have more time with her. 
Dreading Mother's Day