On the 10th July 2019 my father was diagnosed with cancer of the Liver and Bowel. On the 22nd of January 2020 he passed away. I feel he left too soon. My dad was a child refugee, lost his father at a young age aswell as his 5 siblings who died due to poverty, starvation, polio and all the other ailments associated with being a child of war. However, he worked hard and married raised great kids, gave back to society tirelessly, served the poor and championed the rights of women,whilst remaining humble. He died when really he was just about enjoying his good years, had grand kids and was at home with my mum ever since retiring 5 years earlier. He was extremely handsome and quite a striking individual, he was the epitome of kindness personified. I bought a new house and he promised me he would plant trees in my garden, he never got the chance to. I feel as though life just isnt worth all the hype. I miss him terribly. Ever since he died i feel as though our whole house hold died with him. We saunter around in sadness.My mum has just stopped speaking. This huge cloud of sorrow has engulfed our home, i struggle to get out of bed, sleep, respond to mail, messages, bills....the paperwork is piling up... But, i just dont care. Our whole lives we spend faffing around paperwork and in the end when we leave there's more of it.....please can someone tell me does it really get easier... i just dont know where to start.... my heart physically hurts and my mind aches. Im scared of a future without him. My dad was my favourite man in the world he was my King. And, now his home, his Kingdom has become reduced to nothing but tears and memories. Please help. I am losing myself to the loss of my father and dont know what to do??

Fowzie