Hi LozFB,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm so sorry to read what you're going through at the moment. I can only imagine how incredibly difficult this must be and especially the trauma you experienced too.

I just wanted to write to offer some support and to say that we're always here to help on this forum. Do use it as a safe space to write down your thoughts/feelings etc. - it may be of some small help to you, and it's a very understanding community of people.

No doubt everything is feeling raw at the moment, but it is good to hear you are seeing your GP today. I'm sure that this will help, and counselling sounds like a good option.

It's cliched but try to take things one day - or one hour - at a time, and believe that things will gradually become easier, or at least more manageable. Try to let your emotions take their course and know that it's OK to feel however you feel. As I say, we're always here for support.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Ben

Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it.

Hello lovely,

My words of advice:

Well done, trust your gut in what you think best supports you when you're approaching and in 'crisis mode' (shall we call it)

I reached out to NHS beginning of 2018 (approaching my 20th) and had help for D&A and some other unearthed bits after my mum started battling with advanced breast cancer back in March 2017.

After doing CBT for >1 year and stablised on meds, they referred me to an NHS MBCT course which honestly changed the way I view life. Little did I know that the skills I'd picked up would have me better prepared for what was to come. My poor mum was "all clear" Sept '17-Sept '18. September 18 came the reconstruction for her mastectomy filler that had been put in the year before. The surgeon called to say they found some anomalies, mummy's cancer had come back and further spread to her lungs and liver from that point on it was consecutive bad news.

My mum passed 4 months ago, on the 17th of October 19. She had made her 40th in July, my younger sister's 11th on the 4th of October and my 21st in June. My existing mental health issues have gotten worse since she passed but grief gives a  good suckerpunch out of nowhere doesn't it!

I was discharged from NHS to go to Cruse for prebereavement care but due to my mum's rapid decline, I now need bereavement care ASAP, this currectly has an 11 week wait for the 6 sessions but I've self referred back to Talking Therapies who were expecting me back but not so soon! 

Grab onto everything that signifies with you and communicate on what may not be working for you when you receive help. Have trust and faith in yourself! I believe in you from the energy of your words and send strength and love. 

The Macmillan website also has a very good advice page. It has given so much guidance to helping my sister have the right tools, first time round with dealing with crazy up down emotions and positive processing.

My next milestone is to get out doing some lengths swimming and venturing out other my mandatory A to B's but everything takes little steps xxx

Thank you so much for your words of advice but I mostly want to say how sorry I am both that your Mum passed so quickly and that you are so young. My Mum was young at almost 77 so o can't imagine how you coped, although it sounds like you are doing so well, though I know it may not feel like it.

Take care and lots of love to you xx