I don't really know what I'm needing with this post as deep down in know the outcome but just looking for other people's experience with if anyome has been is a similar situation asI'm really really struggling to cope, eat, sleep.

Bit of a backstory, So basically my grandma (nanny) brought me up my mum is a drug addict and never changed, my nanny is my whole world and more..last year my grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had an operation to have the tumor removed and a few rounds of radiotherapy all went well and decamber 2019 she got the all clear. Last Wednesday the 6th I get a phone call to say my nannys cancer is back but it's bowel cancer that has spread to her liver and it's incurable, the plan is to get her well, get her home and get her on chemo. The cancer is now in her bowel, liver, lungs, kidney, stomach it's dotted allover and her potassium level is at 7 and despite 4 rounds of treatment to bring it down which haven't worked. Obviously this is really dangerous as she could take a heart attack. We were told last night that they weren't going to try again and that it was in her best interest to stop poking and proding at her all the time to put in a continuous drip of morphine. She is still eating and drinking a little also still going to the toilet herself but her breathing is starting to rattle I've read up about the death rattle although she's still on oxygen.I don't know if I'm just in denial or what but I just don't feel like it's over yet and I feel like I just need sort of information that the doctors just cant give me to help my brain just stop for 2 minutes like can anyone give any sort of advice in any shape or form about maybe if they think she's approaching the end or if their is signs? Ive got a 1 Year old little girl aswell and finding it so tough and feeling like the worst mum to her right now along with all this as I just want to spend all my time at the hospital with my grandma