I know it's a horrible thing to say but I'd rather it was me than her. She had cancer twice in four years and the second one, the brain tumour, killed her. Im stuck now with a father who never made me feel loved or wanted and a brother whose been nothing short of a bully to me. I'm stuck alone and now I just wish I'd died.
I do often feel suicidal, I can't think of her without seeing her in the bed or the care home. Im angry my father refused to honour any of her dying wishes and had the nerve to ask me to lie to her that we were taking her home so she could die in familiar surroundings.
