Hello there

Very sorry to read about the loss of your Mum xx 

I can relate to this because one of my parents also died from cancer - quite quickly after being diagnosed. 
You definitely did not do anything wrong when you asked about prognosis (we all did the same in my family...we wanted/needed to know). And by asking, you did not speed up the decline and passing of your Mum in any way. You asking about prognosis had absolutely nothing to do with your Mum sadly dying xx

Cancer took your Mum...you didn't contribute to that so please let that one go - there's no need to feel guilty about this. Promise xx 

Grief is awful xx but you will come out the other end. As we all did. I didn't think I would come out the other end of grief but it naturally just gets better. Once you're over the shock of it, you find strength to carry on.
 

There will be a time when you can think about your Mum and it doesn't cause the intense pain your are going through now.

it does get better.  You know, if you're really struggling, you might want to have a chat to your GP who may suggest a short period of time off to gather your thoughts and ground yourself. 
 

I've used this site lots over the years and it's a great place to document any thoughts or feelings and so please come back xx 

So sorry to here about your mum my husband passed April 2019 you should sellerbrate and think off all the happy times you had with your mum she's with you in spirit 

I am so deeply sorry to hear about your mum.

life is so cruel at times, how devastating for you & such a shock!

when my Dad passed away I was in shock I had to go to the doctors as couldn't stop shaking, I was the same couldn't eat or sleep but they gave me some medication to calm me & have offered counselling which I will accept in time at the moment like you everything is an effort. 
if you are managing to go to work & get a little bit of routine back your doing amazingly and I'm sure she would be proud. 
I have started to wonder maybe we have to force ourselves to keep going & the pain gets easier? I really hope it does! I don't feel like I've accepted My Fads passing at all. 
 

im sending you so much love & blessings

Thank you so much for your kind words of reassurance & advice it really helped to hear that asking for prognosis is normal. I'm so sorry for your loss xx I still can't handle going to the grave or her house it's been 2 months now & I feel guilty for not going! The only way I am coping is by working to keep my mind focused on trying to help other people. I'm waiting to start bereavement counseling through work. The hardest time is at night & weekends I am heartbroken but have to put a smile on in work then cry when I get home. I hope one day I'll be able to look at photos, videos & remember the good times without the pain or tears. All I have in my mind right now is those last few weeks & moments of her suffering, dying they just pop into my head when I try to sleep, I hope those will fade soon I can't bare it. Thanks again for your message it really helped. I agree keeping going through the pain helps to stop you focusing solely on your loss we just have to keep going! Bereavement counseling I have been told has helped those who have had it so definitely look into it. Sending you much love xx

Thank you for your message I am so sorry to hear about your dad I feel the same like some days I wonder if she's really gone yet I know she has. I was the same as you doctor gave me medication for 5 days to calm me down & my whole body ached for 2 weeks when she died. They say grief isn't just emotional it is embodied to. The 2 options I had were either to keep going or go off sick I decided being at home thinking about it constantly would send me on a downward spiral. Keeping going has been incredibly hard like walking through treacle, exhausted waiting for the day where it's just that tiny bit easier. I hope you do the bereavement counseling it can only help x I'm sending you love & strength