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Grief getting worse

Lisanw
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I lost my partner of 21 years on 22 November this year he died when I was at work we did not know he was e had been to the go on the Tuesday as we are now aware he was showing signs of lung cancer he died on the friday

He suffered hamatemesis vomiting blood and must have chocked to death this was caused by the cancer he had managed to phone an ambulance but it was to late

I can't get image out my head what he went through I have cried every day since off work sick I will be going for counseling but think what's the point won't bring him back he was my best friend and soulmate we had no children he was my world and he was only 55 the thought of going back to work I can't face yet 

I know its early days but how Do people cope

 

 

 

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    Hi Lisanw,

    I am so very sorry for your loss..

    My sister lost her husband very suddenly when they were both 59.  They didn't have children.  

    After my brother in law died, we had several deaths in family and I remember the feeling that my heart had literally broken.  But please believe me it does lessen.   My sister still misses her husband, we all still miss our brothers and mother.  But we talk about them all, we share memories, remembering them makes them feel near.

    Just take one day at a time, go through the motions and the pain will lessen eventually, I know this will seem impossible at this time.  I hope this is okay, I dont know what a grief counsellor will say, I can only say what worked for me. 

    My sister is now in her early seventies. She still misses her husband but also laughs and takes pleasure in life.

    Take care, sending you kindest thoughts, x

  • Offline in reply to Ch1963

    Thank you for kind words and taking the time to reply x

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    Hello

    So so sorry for your loss and I know exactly how you feel as I lost my beloved husband to lung cancer on 13 February 2019 but it only feels like yesterday, he was 65. The pain is almost unbearable some days. I feel totally lost without him. People say the grief will lessen through time and I truly hope this is true for both of us.  I try to console myself with the thought that I am so grateful that I had him in my life for 35 years. Take care, sending you much love xx

  • Offline in reply to Jan17

    Sorry for your loss sometimes I can't get out of bed same as you I remind myself I was with him for 21 years sending you my love x

  • Offline in reply to Lisanw

    Thank you. It's a bit of a vicious circle...we don't want to feel this low as it's an awful feeling, we want to try and do things but sometimes the grief and sadness just defeats us. Sometimes people will say to me Alastair would hate to see you like this, he would want you to get out and about and get on with your life. They mean well but it's not that easy because the only person you want to live your life with is not there. Just do whatever you feel like doing day to day. Hopefully one of these days we will see a ray of light that will at least make each day a little easier. Feel free to email me anytime if you need a chat xx

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