Sorry you're feeling this way! ️

I can relate in some ways to things you've mentioned. I lost my Mum June also. We were close and as time goes by I miss her more.

I hit a spell a few months ago where I stopped coping as it all started to overwhelm me. I understand the feeling of not feeling genuine happiness. You just do it and sometimes it can make you feel worse cause you miss your Mum. Eventually it will get better as you'll do it probably for you Mum as you mentioned, she wouldn't want you to be like that. I went through a spell of nothing felt the same or worth while... Even angry... More at myself for not coping! It all takes time and how you feel now could be different to how you feel in a month. Don't let it get you down. You're doing amazing! Even getting out of bed in the morning takes a lot of effort while feeling like that. A day at a time, each day is different and we are all here to vent to and try off help in some sort of way  (wrote this twice lol hope it posts this time) 

Hi,

I was searching for some posts about how to carry on without my Mum when I came across these messages so I hope you don't mind me replying after so long. I lost my Mum 5 weeks ago and it is her birthday next week. My partner and myself lived with my Mum for the past 8 years and 10 years prior to this Mum and I worked together in my B&B and spent a huge amount of time living together on and off during that time too, she was my best friend, my world. Unfortunately (not due to choice) we don't have children so my Mum literally filled the gaps in my life. I really don't know how to carry on without her. The first two weeks everything felt numb like life wasn't really real and she would be coming home, now the reality is hitting me and its devastating. I see no joy in life, she was the one I told everything to. I have so so much I want to tell her and share with her.

I just needed to share this. I really can't imagine my life without her again. I keep a pretence on with others most of time time because many people just do not understand, they haven't lost their world so how can they?

Hoping everyone understands.

Jane x