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Miss my husband so much

Jan17
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Hello

My lovely husband aged 65 passed away from lung cancer on 13th February this year. Ten months on and I feel the pain of losing him is getting worse instead of easier. He was my world, I'm completely bereft and totally lost without him, I feel disconnected from the world and cannot envisage a future without him.

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    I'm so sorry for your loss, if you've lived your life with one person for so long I bet it's tough to be on your own. Something maybe you could try is having a list, write a list of maybe ten things your husband loved to do/ whether he did them or not, I.e places he wanted to visit, people he wanted to see etc. Write this list and then tick off the things as you do them, you will feel like he is with you every step of the way and in turn it will give you something to put your mind to and give you ease from your greif. In time you will be able to look back at what you did for your husband and smile. Good luck I hope you can get to a place where you can enjoy his memory, remember don't be afraid to show your greif and that talking about your husband, or just at all to anyone will help. Try and take up a new hobby. Sending love xxx

  • Offline in reply to Doug30

    Thanks for taking the time to reply. Hopefully I'll get to that place in time, take care x

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    Hi Jan,

    I'm so sorry for everything you are going through. Loosing someone close to you is life changing and you should take as much time as you need to grieve properly. It's your right.

    I think you could benefit from being involved with a cancer charity. You may find some confort in the company of people who have been through the same pain and know exactly how you are feeling. There are charities like Macmillan Trust that will help you with advice and will also welcome your practical help if you are so inclined to get involved. Check out what there is in your area.

    When we are busy doing something worthwhile for others, we feel better about ourselves. When we share our burdens, they become lighter. If you don't feel like stepping out yet, you can always come here to this forum, tell us how you are doing, and reply to others that are in need of a bit of confort.

    Hope this is useful.

    BIG HUG

    XXXXX 

  • Offline in reply to Ribas

    Thank you. Hopefully in time, I will feel a bit stronger and be able to reconnect with the world xx

  • Offline in reply to Jan17

    Hi Jan, I just wanted to send you love. I know how hard today is. I hear in your post what a deep love was shared between you and your husband. The fact you can just get out bed and put one foot in front of the other is a huge achievement in itself. Please be gentle with yourself and go at your own pace. I find talking to cruse and Samaritans (on the phone) have helped me when I have felt very disconnected, I'd recommend them - you deserve to feel supported through this in the way that you need.I find it virtually impossible to see a future without my mum. Something that comforted me was I saw a post Matt Haig had written online talking about how he was living the future he was utterly convinced was never going to exist. Just because we can't see it, it doesn't mean it isn't there - that sustains me at times. Thoughts are with you Jan xx

  • Offline in reply to clue

    Hello

    Thank you, sorry that your missing your mum, I know how that feels too as I lost my mum on 14th January 2018, sending much love back to you, take care xx

  • Offline in reply to Jan17

    Thank you Jan, that means so much to me. I'm so sorry to hear about your mum and that you have been though so much in the past couple of years. My heart goes out to you. xx

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