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Losing My Mum

OG97
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After fighting cancer with so much bravery and tenacity, my incredible mother passed away on Wednesday from cervical cancer at the young age of 48. I couldn’t be more proud of the way she bravely fought it, no matter how hard things got. I just feel so lost without her, and I’m not sure how I’m going to cope without her in the coming months and years. We were best friends, we talked about literally everything and were barely ever apart. 

Im struggling so much with guilt, about what I could and should have said. All I could say in the final few hours was “i love you”, just over and over. Nothing else would come out, and there’s so much more I wish I could have said to comfort her. 

Its a struggle, but I’m hoping things will slowly heal. She’ll never leave my heart. 

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    Hi there ..

    So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... loosing a wonderful mum is to me the second hardest thing we go through in life... second only to loosing a child...

    Now we all wish we could go back, do something different.. regret a few things .. that's the same for most all of us ..  l lost my wonderful mum suddenly from a heart attack and I had no chance to even tell her I was so proud to be her daughter and I loved her one more time .. we were together always .. Xmas/ holidays / everything was together .. my kids adored her ..

    If I could have had one day, or one hour ..  you know how id fill it .. telling her over and over how I love her ..  you had that .. and as a mum with cancer, if that's all my son said to me, I'd go happy .. coz at the end of the day,  that's the words we'd all love to hear ...

    We can't change the past .. but we can change the future .. and l looked at it like I'd try to do things she taught me, to be kind .. to forgive ... to try to help those who need a hand to hold , esp people I've only just met .. so in her memory , I've tried every day to walk a little in her footsteps    .. your mum sounds amazing too .. she will never leave you, because your half of her, she's there every time you look in the mirror.. she's safely tucked up in your heart now... she will see through your eyes .. 

    My mum has been gone 30 years this year .. I was only 36 then ... my lads still put pictures of her with them on their face book .. I've told my grandkids all about her .. we've brought her along our journey through life... in an uplifting funny way, of the things she did that still makes us laugh .. that's the sound she loved best ..

    So yes grieve and feel angry and sad .. have those tears .. we all need those emotions early on .. but then there's a saying I love in life .. don't always grieve because you loose someone ... but know you were blessed to have had them in your life ... please now be kind to your heart ...

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    hiya

    well im in the same predicament, though I’m guessing you’re a lot younger than me. I’m 41 and my mom was just 60! (Though I feel as though I’m about 12)She died July and I was with her all the way everyday same as you I was the one that knew she was gone. ( saying in her ear about 5 mins before she left us go to grandad (her dad had died only dec 18) I love you and I’m sorry I couldn’t save you  

    Nobody I know can’t seem to sympathise with what I’ve seen, it’s so hard to explain the torture of watching someone you love suffer and die in agony, which i know my mom did. She couldn’t move the last week of life it was heart wrenching  

    but im finding it very difficult to be normal and enjoy things in life I pretend for my kidsas my mom was my only parent I recently told my dad who lived with us intil i was 12yrs old ( he had an affair) that mom had passed away he said sorry and that he knew how I feeling as his partner has passed away too. That was the end of convo, through fb. He didn’t even ask, if me or my bro was Ok!! or how’s my children (his grandkids) were doing. So that big rejection has made my mom’s passing even harder to handle ( plus mom’s  partner has rejected my children he’s another crap man in her life! He was only after mom’s money and possessions! He pulled the wool over mom’s eyes (I was heartbroken for mom because I think she realised that her partner wasn’t who she thought. Really sad for mom I can only imagine. There are some bad ppl out there isn’t there. 

    mom never seen bad in people she was so kind and caring she really was a beautiful person! who didn’t realise her worth! 

    i have my partner & children, my brother, a few of moms family left that loved mom, love me & I love them 

    so im trying hard to be happier because life can be cruel and short and there’s always someone worse off. (sorry for cliche) 

    Ive just read that to keep busy and do something for your mom in a positive way. So I got a pretty yellow rose bush I shall be planting it very soon in my garden, in her memory. (Small thing but a start) I’m going to try and keep busy too, decorate, read anything. 

    I bet your mom wouldn’t want you to be sad and depressed! Easier said then done I know but, think how lucky we are to of had a beautiful mom!! Some people aren’t so lucky 

    sending hugs to you because I truly understand the pain you’re feeling xxx keep posting online I think it helps the grieving process 

    and don’t let the snakes leeches or anyone that upset you or your mom in life drag you down!!! 

     

     

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