Hi kiki123,

You're similar to me, we lost mum in September 2018, I'm so sorry for your loss.

You asked how people cope, I don't have the answer but I know what you mean when you say it still hurts now just as bad. I find it comes over like waves and literally knocks you sideways. It's so difficult to just figure out why our mums aren't here, it isn't right or should even be possible.It feels very cruel.

Not sure if you have tried counselling or a lot of people here mention Macmillan or Samaritans? That may help?

What I hold onto is that my mum wouldn't want me to carry this sadness with me forever, but to be happy in my life, be close to the family and support each other. She would tell me that life goes on, that it is so precious, grab happiness when you can and although I am not a patch on my mum, I try and be kind to others as she was, just naturally.

It is getting used to a new 'normal' and we will feel different but that's ok, whatever you feel personally is ok. I remember reading a post on this forum where someone said that we owe it to our mum's to live our lives the best that we can. It is hard, no denying that but we'll make our mum's proud.

I really hope you will find some peace and happiness for the future.

Linda

x