Hi, been through a similar thing, my Dad died on the 21st of November and we had the funeral on Weds.

It's an incredible shock, and it's so surreal.

Whilst he was diagnosed in February with rectal cancer everything seemed positive until October and then the news that the Chemo,wasn't working it had spread through his piritoneum and liver

It hit us all hard.

They said he had a few months or so but started deteriorating almost immediately. He needed a drain but the hospital somehow managed to take from Sunday morning until weds evening to do it but put him on nil by mouth incase he needed it done under a general.

This put his kidneys into failure and as hard as he tried he just couldn't get back into eating and drinking and within a few short weeks died.

The rapid decline was horrendous as I am sure you have experienced. We are all in shock.

He was the head of our close nit family, the "hinge pin" and a real father in every sense of the word.

How do you cope? I don't know, we have just come back from a Christmas party in tears. It doesn't feel right being out and enjoying ourselves.

All I can see is you have to try to allocate a little time each day to grieve. Try to control the waves of shock and sadness, not shut it out but work it into your daily routine.

There seems to be some wierd comfort in the sadness, if your grieving your still doing something for them. 

That's the only way I can get through the day.

Everyone keeps saying now the funeral is done it's time to move on but I don't even feel I have started working out how to deal with it.

Hello

My dad was diagnosed in March and died in May. I still fimd it hard to accept. I sometimes think he's still here. It's awfully hard. Try to look after yourself and think of the good times you shared. All the best, Nic x

How are you doing luke91? I lost my mum very suddenly in October and I really empathise- the shock and trauma and pain are indescribable. I am also struggling to cope. All I can say is you aren't alone. x