Hey everybody.

I lost my mum in October. She was fighting metastatic cancer for over 5,5 years. She had it in her skeleton, lungs, brain, arms, legs yeah basically everywhere.

She was fighting every day for all these years, and I moved abroad 2 years ago. She wanted me to continue life and not stop myself because she was sick.

She was my best friend, best mum best everything. We were like twins. Always been so close to her and told her everything.

I still can't understand that I will never see her again and that she is gone forever. It doesn't make sense for me that you are here and then you are gone.

My dad and mum were together for 40 years.

40 YEARS!

The last year of my mums life, when she finally got her retirement she got worst. She worked for over 20 years, taking care of elderly people and then she got sick but continued to work hard.

The last year, she started loosing her balance, and stopped walking by herself due to falling down 13 times hitting her back, head, arms etc. My dad took care of her 24/7, helped her with everything. I was trying to be there for her as much as I could by calling her daily, facetiming her talking to her normal even though she wasnt herself anymore and never called me. It ws always me.

I love her so highly and I feel like I've lost a part of myself and it's the most horrible feeling a human being can ever go through.

I speak to my dad daily to check on him and my sister aswell. She got her own family with 3 kids so she is a busy woman which makes it difficult for her to cope with everything aswell. I find it hard to cope with normal life now and I'm angry alot at people. I think it's so unfair that my mum passed away at 65, 1 week before she was going to turn 66.

And I'm only 25. I dont really know how to move on with this, my partner is very understanding but it's hard to cope sometimes with everything and everyone.

I became closer with my partners mum now, but at the same time I jsut want my mum. I just miss her so damn much and I keep looking for her everywhere, and I think that I see her aswell.