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Angry at mum for leaving me

Lisatodd
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What an horrendous & confusing day!

15 days since my mum passed and today as probably been the hardest. I have cried non stop and this turned into anger, angry that she left me,angry that she has not give me any sign, angry angry angry>:). 

Everyone says at least you have your twins....but surely this is harder? They are 2.5 years old and fighting and crying and wont leave me alone, emptying the bins, smashing everything....anything to get my attention even if it is in a negative way. I just want to go to bed and cry and sleep. :cry: I adore them and want to be the amaysing mum I was before I lost my best friend but I dont know where that person as gone, I have changed so much....so sad and heartbroken. Nanny bought Logan a Paw Patrol racing set and she was so excited to see him open it Christmas morning, now she wont see it and it so unfair. They both did amaysing in their swimming lessons today and I couldnt wait to ring her to tell her because she adored them but SHE IS NOT THERE and it breaks my heart!!! She is gone forever and all we have is ashes that we pick up next week.

Please tell me it gets easier? 

 

 

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    So sorry to read your post and know you are struggling.

    As mum to a 2.5yo I know full well how stressful and draining the days can be - even when they are doing the most amazing things and creating fabulous memories.

    I can't say you forget. You never will and never should. But it gets easier. And you will never forget your mum so she will be a part of your Christmas.

    There will be tears. And you will feel sad. But that is al natural too.

    I lost my mum aged 20 and she never saw me graduate,  ever saw me succeed in my chosen career, never met the love of my life or saw me marry him, and saddest of all never saw me become mum to the most amazing girl in the world. But I am the woman she made me.  As you are the woman made by your mum. And she/ they are always with you/us.

    Sending love:

    xx

     

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    Hi there,

    So sorry for your loss, it definitely gets easier and you just learn to live with it. I lost my dad and I rarely even think about him now, life really does goes on.

    It's the circle of life, don't be angry at your mum, you are a mum too and one day your kids will lose you and ask why you left, would you want them to be angry at you as well. Anger is a natural stage of grief though but be angry at the cancer not at your mum for leaving x

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