Hello Lisa,

I am so incredibly sorry for this awful loss you are facing.

The shock must be absolutely terrible, life can be so cruel sometimes and its hard to make sense of it. I couldn't believe anyone when they told me that the pain gets easier and more bearable but it does. The first few weeks I was numb with shock and in complete disbelief. We only had 5 days to prepare for the death of my beautiful Mum (almost 6 months ago). 
 

I'm so pleased you have your mother to be with you at this time, don't be worried about leaning on others at this time, your Mum will be grateful she can be there for you through the darkest times.

You did not mention if you have had the funeral yet but I found that to just be a formality for other people rather than our family. I was completely numb and didn't cry, it was like an outer body experience. I believe the grieving for the family happens in your own time. 

In the first few weeks I was aware of minutes and hours in the day. Time slows down and every second of the day is so incredibly painful. I promise it does get easier. I'm still feeling very intense pain, and just about coping, but I feel a little better than I did. It's still very up and down but I am trying to hope for brighter days.

Have work been understanding? I took 5 weeks off in total and am fortunate my boss was very kind. I really hope yours is too. Work felt utterly pointless to me. While I still don't care about things like I used to when my Mum was alive, work has actually been a great distraction for my grief. 

You will laugh again, you will enjoy yourself again. It's hard to imagine now but you will get there, and you deserve that. 

Sending you love and strength and here if you need to chat

Katie

Xxx