Loss of a Mother

I lost my Father back in 1986 aged 42 from a brain tumour, it was distressing but managed to cope. I developed cervical cancer in my early 30s but fought that, in my mid 40s I was diagnosed with cancer yet again and underwent extensive chemotherapy and radiotherapy and have pulled through. My Mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer last year and had to have a Mastectomy and radiotherapy, unfortunately this year she was diagnosed with secondary lung cancer which spread rapidly around her body, she wanted so much to see her Grandsons who live down South so her Consultant said she was well enough to make the journey etc.How wrong could it of been..... My poor Mother passed away after two days in a strange Hospital and I feel so so guilty for taking her on that journey. The guilt eats at me day and night, if only I had done things differently ! 

  •  So sorry that you have lost your mum xxx

     I  have those  'if only' moments all the time too.  There are things i think I did  or didnt  do that may have given my parents another day, or month, or made them more comfortable.   I look back and think I did it all wrong, twice,  because they aren't here now..   So I'm guessing that if you hadn't taken her,  then you would  also feel guilty as something made her really want to make that visit and ask you.   You were there  for your mum and she was loved and cared for,  that's what matters.  xxx

  • I felt the same after my mum died, I kept playing everything over in my head thinking that I should of done things differently she might have survived or lived longer.

  • I think about this all the time too! Its just the constant longing to speak to her and be with her - it can be overbearing. I keep thinking if I could just have another hour with her. But the fact is it would never be enough. I would always want forever with her. The life I have I have is because of her. I wouldnt be who I am without. Everything I have I owe it to her and for that I am so grateful xxxx

  • I too have lost my mum to Metastatic Breast Cancer which has spead to the liver and bones back in April 2019. She passed away in the hospital while undergoing treatment for high calcium levels.My mum wanted to see her sisters (my aunts) who live in the US but they never came. I too have had times where I felt like I should have spent more time with mum. I think about mum all the time and even say a prayer for her.

    I managed to be by mum's side before she died and I held her hand. I felt my mum's hand, squeezing my hand back so to me, it was a sign that she knew I was there. I do feel bad at the moment, knowing that I am about to spend my first Christmas without mum but know she is always there in my heart and always watching over us from above. I love mum always.