Been reading all the posts and realise that many of us are in the same boat. True about the heaviness in your chest that you can't seem to shift. My dad got through bowel cancer and within 2mths had liver cancer which was terminal and died Dec 2015, he really was my rock and the bond that kept family and friends together. He was a strict but very fair man and i was his only daughter and he got me out of every little thing if i went down the wrong path. He was always there for me and forgave me for all my wrongs. People say"oh he will be there waiting on you when your day comes" but yet im muddled coz if you come back as something or someone else, ho are you there waiting. Yo can't be in 2 places at the one time. I know this all sounds a bit deep but these are the silly things i think about.xxxx