Hi everyone, 

It's been a year since my Dad passed away from pancreatic cancer. He took his last breath on 26th November last year, and I can honestly say nothing has been the same since. 

A lot has happened over the past 12 months. I've laughed, I've cried countless tears. I've felt angry, jealous — I'm embarrassed to admit — about other peoples' parents being seemingly healthy (I would obviously never wish harm to anyone), and felt utterly hopeless.

I still can't believe he's gone, that I'll never be able to see him again, hug him, and tell him how much I love him. Everything reminds me of him, and the memories, while sometimes lovely, are still raw and painful. 

People say time heals all wounds but part of me knows that this is a wound that nothing can heal. 

I know that there are many people on this forum who have unfortunately lost someone they loved. My heart breaks for you. It really does. It's all so unfair. 

I wanted to share one of my favourite poems, which always makes me feel a little better.

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.

- Mary Elizabeth Frye

I know Christmas — or any other family occasion — is a tough time when you're missing someone you love. I hope you can still find joy in the celebrations <3

Huge hug!