I lost my mum on Aug 2018 to Bowel Cancer. Mum was only diagnosed Jan 2018. I am only 22 and mum was only 50 when she passed. Since Mum was diagnosed dad and her both knew she had terminal cancer. At that point she decided with dad to keep that to them selves which I can understand. Therefore it was such a shock to us all when it was a week run up to her passing as it was at that point we would have known it was terminal but didn’t want to process the fact that she was not getting better she was so brave to keep her smile no matter what. She is really the strongest person I know ! Mum was very unwell even before she was diagnosed and unfortunately she could have been diagnosed earlier which is hard to take in when we think what if we forced her to see a doctor earlier or go private. However we don’t know or will never know if she was diagnosed sooner than Jan 2018 she be here today. I find it extremely hard to cope without mum and I honestly don’t think it has fully sunk in that she is gone for good and times I feel numb and times I feel great pain which I can’t describe to no one. It is so hard thinking in to the future that she will never be there to see my career, first house, wedding etc. I got engaged this year and when I got proposed to I cried of course of happiness for getting to spend the rest of my life with someone I love who has helped me so much but some of those tears was that my mum is not here to see this. There is a lot happening in my life at present and I just wish I had my mum. I keep looking for things in the house hoping she would have left a note for me or my brother. I just wish we had a chat before she passed about how to live my life without her. Heaven really did gain a special angel that day xx