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Loss of husband

Jools07
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My husband was diagnosed with stomach cancer last May and went through 132 hours intensive chemo and 9 hours surgery...he amazed everyone and left hospital afterwards with no medication. He was given all clear in January this year. We had a great  8 months then on September 5th he had chest infection and was told cancer was back and terminal. He died 3 weeks ago at home. 

He was my entire life we were together 33 years. He worked from home so we really did spend every minute of every day together. Now I am so so lost without him. He was only 55.

He had never been given any follow-up scans as apparently it is not protocol for gastric cancers in UK. We also had huge failings from outside support as no one had ever spoken to him or me about dying so when he did finally pass away it was very traumatic. 

Now I am not dealing with only losing him but watching him go in such a horrendous way.

My days are so empty we had so many plans but my strong happy loves life was cut short. He lived life to the full and we did so much never a dull moment.

Do not know how I can cope without him

  • I am so sorry to hear of the death of your husband.  I too lost my husband after 33 years together, and the your husbands time frame seems to match Steve, although he was diagnosed in August 17, the relapsed in Septerber 18 and died last November.  In fact I popped onto Cancer Chat tonight to post something about my year as a widow.... I don't know what it will say, (I haven't written it yet), but I hope you find some grains on comfort if you read it.

    In the meantime, please take care of yourself and try to remember to take it one hour at a time.

    WIshing you much strength

    Ruth

  • Offline in reply to SusanRuth

    Thankyou for taking time to message Ruth. Very sad to read you have been through same as memy husbands death was very traumatic and we had not been prepared for it but he was at home with us so that is a little comfort. Only been 3 weeks for us tonight. Really do not know how I am going to cope as time goes on but I am trying to stay strong as that is what he would want x

  • Offline in reply to jodyb

    Thankyou Jo for your message. So sorry to read that you have lost your husband too Only been 3 weeks since my beloved Gary passed away ...and have found the past few days the most difficult..probably because it is getting longer since I last saw himbut tomorrow I do have a meeting with a counsellor as feel I need to speak to someone now x

  • Offline in reply to victoria2424

    Thankyou for the message Victoria so sorry to read that you lost your husband too...can I how long is it since he passed away?

    My beloved Gary has only been gone 3 weeks and I am so lost have decided cannot do Christmas this year as it too close and could not cope writing just my name in cards

    Our children are 25, 27 & 30 they have been great support but are also affected badly as none are married and 2 still at home. We have always been a very close family and did so much together...most of which was organised by their dad. He loved booking us surprise weekends, holidays or even just a family meal somewhere. He was so spotaneous...never a dull moment and he lived for us allx

  • Offline in reply to Magpiemaggie

    Thankyou for your message...sorry to hear you lost your husband too my daughter has booked appointment tomorrow for me to see a counsellor so hoping this helps x

  • Offline in reply to Jools07

    Hi Jools07

     my husband passed away 9th September 2019 I am taking it day by day keeping busy like I said I have a puppy which has been great for me and my daughter . Im not bothering with cards but we will all still carry on with Christmas as my husband really enjoyed this.   Also my daughter being 16 is really excited still . We also a very close family and we had our last family holiday in February which we saved up for he loved going on holiday as a family . I think you have just got to all think that you had these moments and he sounds like a great guy too . You too obviously has been together a long time . My friend said that we were the most together couple she knew . We never argued spent most our time together as enjoy each other’s company. They were both too young to die . I’m glad you have your children with you, you all need to keep your strength up together . He is still with you all in your hearts. Keep in touch as I think talking to people that are going through the same thing helps as we understand what we are going through xxx

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