Hi,

My Dad passed away within 8 days of being diagnosed with cancer in June.  It was a huge huge shock as he was so well and had only been admitted to hospital with a UTI.

It has been an incredibly hard 5 months as me and my sister did a lot of the funeral planning and then supported my heartbroken Mum so much for weeks after.  They had been married 45 years.

My sister and I both went back to work after the funeral.  We call her every day, try and go over in the week and between us try and spend alternative weekends with her or jointly be with her.  Her and Dad spent all their time together, not socialising with many people so she only has a handful of friends and life carrys on as normal for them.

The first wedding anniversary has passed, his and her birthday have passed and the next tough hurdle will be Christmas.  What we are really struggling with is that her mood can be very up and down as to be expected so we never know what to expect, it's not even sad moods as we talk openly about Dad and cry together about his loss, it's just she seems short tempered and snappy sometimes and disinterested in most things and it can be really hard.  Yes other times she is the opposite.

She spends most days alone,we have softly suggested social groups or meeting friends for lunch but she prefers to be at home as that's where she feels 'closest' to Dad.  As she isn't a sociable person she doesn't even initiate people coming to her for a coffee etc so we feel guilty if we don't see her for days as we know unless she talks to someone in a shop she has had no social interaction but then when we see her and she may be in a down mood it makes us wonder if she really wants us there.  She's not  the sort of Mum who would say I don't want you round.

Just wondered if anyone else has been through this with a parent and if there is light at the end of the tunnel?  We are trying to come to terms with our sad loss but also grieving for her and worrying about her all the time.

Thanks
Dawn