Hi Pat,

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I lost my Mum on 3rd October 2019 so can totally sympathise with how you are feeling. From diagnosis to death (which was only a month), I spent 99% of my time with my Mum, in hospital, the cancer centre and finally in the hospice where she passed away. 

I knew there could have been a chance that in the midst of going home to change, shower etc. that I wouldn’t be present when she passed away and I let my feelings known to one of the nurses there. He explained something to me that will stick in my mind forever, he said that in some cases the dying person waits until their loved ones or a particular loved one is no longer in the room before they pass away. He said that sometimes it’s their final act of protecting a certain person from having to see them die. 

Just a thought but could it have been that your Dad didn’t want you to see him die so left when you weren’t there? You spent all your time with him so he would have known how loved he was and because of that, wanted to protect you. Especially in the final days and hours, no one knows when the passing will happen so you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.

I suppose that your regret is probably shared by many others but you needn’t feel guilty. You gave your Dad the gift of your time and he would have died knowing how much he was loved even if you weren’t there to say goodbye. 

Massive hugs x x

I so sorry to hear about your dad, I lost my dad on the 18th of September and he was my best friend as well as my dad. He was due to have a triple heart bypas that doctors left too long so he had a cardiac arrest outside my house, it took the ambulance over 45 minutes to get to my house I feel so angry and hurt. I miss him so much he was my rock and my world. Because he lived alone as my parents had devorced he spent most days at mine or having my children as he loved my twin boys staying with him every Friday. He would come on all my family holidays. I'm so lost.

i don't know what to do next , it's so horrible I hate every bit of it.

I'm thinking of you now at know how you feel ️ ️