Sorry to hear of your loss, I also lost my Dad april 2019. I still find it hard to talk to others in deepth and to tell them what is really on my mind. I went to the Drs just after his passing and naturally i cried so was prescribed anti-depressants. I knew this wasnt for me, but i knew that for myself (28) and my daughter (1) i needed to talk. I went to the hospice who had helped/supported my dad and my family through the roller coaster 17 months. I had bereavement counciling, This really helped my to get my head clearer and to be told that my feelings of numbness, confusion sadness etc was ok. This is the first massive bereavement i have faced. I finished councilling in August. But i still have many days where i dont feel me or happy the sense of lose if strong still. 

Take care xx