Cancer Research UK main site

My mum passed away, how do you cope?

Samantharm
Offline

Hello,

My mum passed away 1 week ago, due to Cancer in the lung that had spread to the liver and the bones. She was 68 years old. 

She was in hostpital for 2 weeks then passed away on the 14th day in hostpital, very peacefully. 

I'm 25 years old, never lost anyone, never even been to a funeral. So I'm not too sure what the best way to deal with things are.

The funeral is on Monday, I still feel like it's not real, I feel like shes at home watching TV like she usually did. 

Then suddenly it hits me that she isn't, I'm just asking for some advice really? 

 

Thank you xx

  • Offline

    Hello, 

    Firstly i am so sorry for your loss. There is no pain quite like losing your Mum. Sending you lots of hugs.

     14 months ago i lost my mum to cancer to She was 50. Im 27. I will tell you there is no best way to deal with things. Take each day as it comes and deal with it the way you want to.  Sometimes will be easy, other days it will feel like your in a small boat with big waves crashing at you! I still get now the sudden .... wow shes not actually here anymore. Theres been many times ive gone to ring her. Take all the support you can get if it helps. 

    The way i look at it now is shes cancer and pain free somewhere beautiful with her Mum and Dad. 

    You are in my thoughts for the coming days xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

     

  • Offline

    Hi samantha 

    So sorry to read about your mum. The pain is awful and there is no magic advice on how to get through this. You just need to take one hour at a time and when you can do  that, it's one day at a time.

    My mum died suddenly 15 weeks ago and I still think she is sitting in her living room or going to be in the kitchen when I walk in..the void that she has left is so enormous and I still struggle to get through each day. I started counselling this week because I am desperate to start enjoying life again. I am so sad all the time

    You are only one week in so need to concentrate on arrangements for the funeral, informing people and doing practical stuff.

    Its after the funeral that things may get tough like they did for me.

    Good luck with everything x

  • Offline

    Hi Samantha,

     

    I'm sorry for your loss!

    I also lost my mom 5 days ago to melanoma that spread to her lungs and brain. We have the funeral a week tomorrow and I'm dreading it, I'm 26 and she was 55.

    I hope things will get easier for us both but at the minute I just dont know what to do with myself.

    The only comfort I can take and I'm sure would be the same for you is knowing they are pain and cancer free.

    Sending my thoughts for monday.

    Xxxx

     

  • Offline in reply to EmmaED

    Hi emma 

     

    Sorry to hear about your mum 55 is no age.

    I keep thinking how young my mum was at 74 and then I read of another mum only being 55 and I feel grateful.

    Mum was very good for her age though and I thought she would be 90 when she went.

    I understand the loss of a parent young having lost my dad to a sudden heart attack aged 53 when I was 27.

    Good luck with the funeral,its not easy but somehow we find the strength to deal.

    It's now that I'm really struggling.the constant missing them. I couldn't find a sock from the washing this morning and broke down in tears. Thus life changing event leaves you very fragile.

    Thinking of you and samantha with the funeral tomorrow x

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.