Hi, I was very sad to read your post, and I have no idea how to help you, but I felt that I must at least make contact. When I lost my son, I too felt that I didn't want to go on, but having another child to be a mum to forced me to get through it. I couldn't leave him. I recently lost my dad and a treasured aunt, his sister. I am now faced with my 27 year old son having an incurable brain tumour. Sorry to rant, but what I am trying to say, is every loss is different, and for you to have been with your husband for so long must leave you with a huge space in your heart, soul and life. It is natural to feel so devastated, but if you have become depressed then you should speak to your gp who should offer different types of help. Do you have family? If so, they would be sad at how you feel and would also want to help you. It really does help talking to someone, even if you think it won't. I feel guilty offloading to my friends and family who also love my son, but I just need to lean on them right now, I hope you can do the same love. X