Helping others grieve

I lost my dad to cancer when I was 14 and now, nearly 10 years on, I have noticed cracks starting to appear in my mum. For so long she has kept busy and distracted herself. She has always prided herself on being a together and dependable person. Following the loss of my gran, and her mum a couple of years ago, she seems to have taken a real dip. She is low all the time and seems to be really missing my dad. I dont know how to help her get through this dark period, and she isnt the type to share with me or other family members very often as she is quite head strong. I'd love to know the best way to help. I've tried suggesting exercise, trying to get into a better sleep routine, talking to someone who knows how to help like a doctor or counsellor. But her eyes glaze every time it's mentioned and I'm not sure what else to do. I have a younger sister who is still school age, and I'm struggling pretending everything is ok all the time. 

  • Hey, I'm sorry I actually read your post yesterday but I was hoping someone with a bit more experience in your area would say something. It's really difficult to ask someone to get help if they're not interested in helping themselves, but it's an issue when it affects other people, especially their children.

    I know you say she is quite headstrong but could you sit down with her and open up about how her behaviour is affecting you? Not putting any blame on her, but just saying you're worried and you hate seeing her like this and that it's upsetting you in turn. I'm sorry if you've already done this before, I imagine you have over the past ten years, but maybe it will shock her into realising that she needs help, she may be a little depressed and a service like Macmillan where you can just pick up the phone and have a chat might really come in handy. 

    Pippa x